I am a POOR PRINCESS

Dear Diary,

It was one another of those times when someone asked you for help and you do not know how to reject him/her.

Honestly, I was in much dilemma when Aunty Susan called me the second time this week to borrow for more money. Days earlier, Aunty susan contacted me out of the blue.. After the long period of not keeping in touch, I was quite taken aback by the sudden call. She told me a whole series of her plight, her tragedy. Apparently her husband met up with an accident and she injured her elbow. Plus she is currently jobless.

She told me she is desperately in need of money and needed it badly to pay for her medical consultation fees that could easily cost up to 40 bucks per session.

Without second word, I lend her the 100 bucks.. but it’s just few days later, she called me again to ask for money. This time, I am more concerned. She told me whole lot of story before I could say anything. I did not answer her but merely saying, “I see” in acknowledgement that I am listening out of courtesy.

I guess she got the hint and simply apologized that she hold up too much of my time and hang up. Upon which, I felt kind of uneasy. I mean, somehow I can sense that she really needed the money. She sounded so sincere plus she did not asked for an unreasonable amount. I was feeling sort of guilty for not helping her. What if she is for real?

I am troubled. Maybe it is due to my past experience of going through the period of being filthy rich and pampered like a princess and yet the next moment so poor that you have to eat humble pies around and beg for sympathy. Fortunately for myself, when my world turns gray I had guardian angels around me to shine light and provide me with little miracles to keep my life going. This could be the main reason why I could not bring myself to reject her for I know how grateful one would be when you lend a helping hand.

Yet I was cheated before, not once or twice but a couple of times. Being nice and giving people the benefit of the doubt do not always pays off well. What you get in return might be betrayal of trust and hurt, worst friendship. Money is something so wonderful yet at the same time something so scary, so scary that it brings out the greed, the ugly side of mankind.

I was in much dilemma as you can tell. I could not concentrate working, staring on my computer screen yet my minds were floated with scenes of Aunty Susan’s plight. It went to the point that I cannot no longer hold it and went over to Baby wen for opinion. Baby Darren happen to be around as well and gave his piece of opinion too. I ponder over what was said and thought they were very right. I cannot help her forever, I decided to help her daughter look for a part time job first while I offer her another 100 bucks to keep her going for at least another week or so. Then make sure she gets a job as soon as she recovers from her elbow.

Maybe I am too soft when people come forward to ask for help and yet in the end I was taken for granted. I wished I could splurged and help them like I did in the past but I cannot afford to do so now. For gods sake, I am now just a plain Jane, that holds a 8-5 job with some miserable income, I am not any loaded princess that goes around giving free ‘treats’. I am nothing but a tattered and torn princess if you must say. I have my limitations with all the commitments.

Henceforth, in future I must tell myself I would still help but not in term of monetary.
This ought to be my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION!