Last Day in the dept

Dear Diary,

Can't get to sleep tonight...

I know I still owe you guys lots of post... but not today... spare me that eh...the photos are not ready anyway... so.. hang in there.. jus look out for the outings as well as my bday photos soon...

anyhow.. I just got back from a wedding dinner... Even after that few drinks... I am not a least bit drowsy... Guess all the mixed feelings has gotten over my mind...

Today is my last day in the dept... Nothing very much unusual, just that I gotta shift my stuff over to another day and start in a fresh new surrounding on the coming Monday. The babies offer to help me shift my stuff but I decline their offer... I was worried those tears of mine roll like a spoilt tap.. haha.. sound stupid eh... but I can be kinda emotional... plus now that Carl just left, friends are like so important to me....

O well, I chose this route myself, no one to blame. I guess this place was just too much a heaven to take in a little spoilt devil like myself. I need to polish up... Plus I was utterly disappointed by my superior.. Let's not talk abt him... he can be a pain in the ass... all that office politics that he was trying to play.. Yuck...

I never like office politics.. but somehow you just got to learn how to play the game... I have enough of all these politics thingy over the years... when one day I can manage my own company.. I wld make it a happy family environment...

Haiz..

The feeling was pretty mixed up... I wanted to have a good career... I am that ambitious sort.. I have my plans all lined up... Like all that know me know that I wanna be a millionaire and stuff.. wanna realized my dreams... so the change was like sth I have pretty much anticipated... yet... I dread this very moment when I have to leave my friends... I love er jie, my 3 lovable babies... my desk, my computer, the chair.. everything...Guess I was just emotional sort... When I get attached to sth.. when I love sth... I didn't know how to let go... I know how when you gain sth.. you lose sth.. but I am just that spoilt little princess that wants it all.. say I am greedy, but who isn't?

I mean, we would still be under that same roof... yet the feeling is gonna be so much different... I guess they are aware of it too.. We can't crap like we always do in the room.. can't laugh our heads off.. can't gossips, share secrets and stuff...

Afterall.. we are parted by walls now..

I know I got a little naggy and groomy today... though I tried hard to pretend nothing happen... I probably irritate my 3 babies a little.. haha.. but actually... it was aching right there in the heart... I was probably jus trying to ease that pain each time I irritate them.. and not reveal that the discomfort.. haha..

I still re-call when Shuwen or was it Darren... asked if I was going to go over now... there's this "She bu de" feeling..

I know I wld miss er jie alot... miss having heart to heart chats with her... miss the times we brave through the barriers and difficulties together... I know there's still lots of room for me to improve.. and I was more than honored to have er jie to be so supportive and patient towards me. She was always there to help me.. and remind me especially when I get a little forgetful... She never flare up at me.. though she probably got a little pissed.. haha.. I guess... =p Afterall we have been friends since my intern days...After my close friends in the coy left one after another.. Er jie is the only one left closest to me.. I don't care how she feels towards me.. but at least to me she's always that guardian angel.. I can always comfortable reveal my devil self... no image needed.. ha..

Of course I have my 3 dearest babies... First I got my dar dar shuwen... the youngest of them all, yet the most matured...Always there to listen to my endless nagging.. and preaching haha.. giving me different opinions.. always there to lend me her tiny little shoulders for me to cry on.. I know I am gonna miss her crystal clear laughter the most... that pure and unstained innocence can always be found in that laughter... She somehow remind me of myself...that was how Cody used to say to me...

Then there's Richard whom I felt so guilty towards...I kept calling him Patrick when I know he's Richard... Don't ask me why... I have no idea.. haha.. Worst I teased about his chinese name and indirectly caused it to become our little joke.. yet he never got pissed with me... He just smile it off.. You bet, it simply doubled my guilt. You know he's just this Mr Nice guy sort... who looks decent and honest... but mind you he's got this cheeky side behind that square look... ha..Oppz.. He always giglgle during his little chats with Darren. OMG.. ya you heard me... Giggle.. especially when the boys got something up their sleeves... like little children... Guess I am gonna miss it... but poor him... kana from the shitty superior to be a blangah outside the warehouse.. it pains me to see my baby kana this kinda shit and yet I am so helpless...but he's understanding.. guess it's part of life.. Thank god it wasn't shuwen..... If not I wld probably flare up with XXX.

Lastly, it's the most Cheeky and babyish Darren. The eldest of them all, yet you can always find the child in him. Very knowledgeable and intelligent I must say he is... yet his wittiness is the culprit to our endless bickering in the enclosed fish tank. While each time we squabble like little children, Shuwen would simply laugh till she roll on the floor. I must admit that he brings out the "child-ness" in me, the youth, It kinda makes me laugh at the end of the day when I reflect the childish-ness of my behaviour when we were "arguing" (Of course we were never for once seriously FIGHTING, just being stubborn and not willing to let the other party win =p). Somehow, as the months past by, this has become part of the daily dosage. I guess I am probably going to miss the bickering... maybe more of the feeling of winning the little argument(though he wins sometimes... tink I win most of the time.. as usual, I am that 'ba dao' *unreasonable*).. hahaha... =p

I still recall the times all of us munch our tibits away, doing inspection, the new system 'Casket'... haha... It's such fond memories...

Today, Both shuwen & Darren did a sweet thing... Shuwen suggested Darren to leave some of the tibits for me... while Darren stack it nicely in a paramid on my desk... I was a little surprise when I came back to the room with the nicely stack tibits... Touched i must say for the 2 babies effort... it might be nothing to others.. but somehow, it just touched my heart... and you bet, it's the best tibits you can find on earth.. =p

I am just so lucky to meet such nice friends... obedient babies...

Nvm, guess parting is part of life.. moreover it's just meters away... at least all of us can still have lunch together... O well... since I have made a decision, no regrets... Life still goes on.. I must be strong... Gan Batte...!!!

Hopefully all these risk and sacrifies are worth while....

God Bless....